Discovery of Witches Eps 1-4

[fenlings]

I don't know what happened, but here is a liveblog of me slowly losing my mind in one short weekend.

It started so innocently...

6:39 PM fenlings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obYBmdi4U9A

6:39 PM fenlings: matthew goode is great but looks old

6:39 PM fenlings: and the witch is such a mary sue and bad actress

6:39 PM fenlings: sigh

8:37 PM fenlings: fuck it im watching witches

8:37 PM fenlings: matthew goode is too good

8:44 PM fenlings: i can't stand the girls hair its so messy

8:45 PM fenlings: shes using her powers on the dumbest things

8:45 PM fenlings: use it on ur hair!!!

9:58 PM fenlings: "youngest ever tenure at yale" so ridic, mary sue

9:59 PM fenlings: for studying about the history of alchemy

9:59 PM fenlings: who gives tenure for that

10:15 PM fenlings: this show is really library-focused

10:29 PM fenlings: this is soooooooooooo boringgggg

10:29 PM fenlings: but i can't stop watching

10:29 PM fenlings: matthew goode has a lot to answer for

11:18 PM fenlings: uggh his smug "im a vampire im ollld i namedrop famous ppl"

11:19 PM fenlings: the plot of this show is literally about a professor taking a book out of a university library

11:19 PM fenlings: she doesn't want to take out the book

11:19 PM fenlings: other people want her to take out the book

11:19 PM fenlings: everyone is hanging out in the library

11:19 PM fenlings: lmao

11:19 PM fenlings: action packed

11:34 PM fenlings: lmaooooo matthew has a laboratory to study vampire genetics

11:37 PM fenlings: hes seducing her over explaining graphs of dna i cant

11:39 PM fenlings: omg this genetics lecture is sooooooooooo wrong

11:40 PM fenlings: unless witchcraft is literally a survival skill u need to get to reproduction age, this is some lamarckian bs

11:40 PM fenlings: hes looking at a witch dna from hundreds of years ago, and then dna from one of her modern descendents

11:40 PM fenlings: SURPRISE the descendent has less witchy dna

11:40 PM fenlings: (which lol)

11:41 PM fenlings: hope u controlled for other witch ancestors asshole. obv if one person generations back had a trait, it would be watered down???? i just???????

11:42 PM fenlings: "indicating that her ancestors as the centuries passed relied less and less upon witchcraft to survive"

11:42 PM fenlings: no??????

11:42 PM fenlings: unless magic literally changes ur dna when u use it

11:48 PM fenlings: oh my god

11:49 PM fenlings: this is just like when i mainlined true blood

11:50 PM fenlings: holy shit he's kissing her wrist ajkf;ajfjerk;g

11:56 PM fenlings: he has a country estate with PEACOCKS could he get more cliche

12:00 AM fenlings: oh god yet another witch library

12:01 AM fenlings: i looked up the author to see if she is a librarian

12:01 AM fenlings: "She is a graduate of Mount Holyoke College (B.A., 1986), Northwestern University (M.A., 1990), and the University of California, Davis (Ph.D., 1994).[2] Harkness also studied abroad at Oxford University. She is a well-regarded historian of science and medicine,[3] as well as having studied alchemy, magic and the occult."

12:01 AM fenlings: the lead character is totally her self-insert

12:33 AM fenlings: and how does she not know about dna

12:33 AM fenlings: "history of science" still includes dna

12:34 AM fenlings: his seduction is that she smells and "i can hear your witch's blood moving in your veins"

12:35 AM fenlings: so not hot

12:37 AM fenlings: he is vampirefully resisting her ALLURE

12:59 AM fenlings: i think maybe nazis were witches

1:10 AM fenlings: nazi witches killed matthew's vampire stepfather

1:10 AM fenlings: its very sad
5:35 PM fenlings: the vampire danced with her and made her happy so her skin glowed....
5:56 PM fenlings: he's in love with her and "craving" her for no reason its so random
5:59 PM fenlings: so weird that they have so many diegetic noises like footsteps and clocks ticking and mostly no background music
5:59 PM fenlings: are we MEANT to feel claustrophic?
6:15 PM fenlings: lol she made it rain when she had a sad
6:15 PM fenlings: keep your pathetic fallacy to yourself
6:15 PM fenlings: oh god there are 4 more episodes to go
6:15 PM fenlings: will my sanity survive??