OUAT Swan Song

What is happen??? The FanFare thread is helpful, but I am still so confused.

I see that the creators wrote this ep, but it was so ham-handed that I wonder if they came in at the end of all this craziness and just tried to reset as fast as possible. (Rumple = the dark one again! Zelena = back to Oz! Dark Ones = back to the underworld! Killian = good again and back in love with Emma!)

But Killian's sudden characterization switches made no sense. It would have explained everything if he had only been PRETENDING to be evil because he knew he had to steal the sword to destroy himself and the darkness. But... apparently not... He was suddenly Super Evil, and then suddenly Super Good again, for no real reason I could determine... (Dude, you're the Dark One. If you need a little of Rumple's blood to open the hell portal, just take some. No need for that weird duel business, and I can't believe he really still wanted revenge. But what WAS Dark!Killian's goal? Or all the Dark Ones' goal, for that matter? How hilarious and "The Originals" would it be if all these old Dark Ones were alive again in Storybrooke and had to learn to live as normal people in the present? But of course the show preferred to reset everything. Whatever!) Also Killian's dad flashback was so weird and pasted on??????

I got some major Buffy and Angel feels with the whole "stabbing your true love who is sane again with a sword to close a hell portal" business. But it was even lamer.

Why can only Belle leave the town?? Why can't anyone with magic find a way to LEAVE THE TOWN? I felt this way with Haven, too. Like when all your neighbors have out of control superpowers, it is time to MOVE. On a related note, where are all the normal people? Where are the townspeople that Regina ruled over in her kingdom, and then got transported to Storybrooke? I want to see them questioning the leadership of Regina/Snow/Charming for letting all this shit happen to the town - even if they have royal blood. The dwarves and Granny are always such a breath of fresh air, but we never spend enough time with them.

I would like to state again FOR THE RECORD, that we could have avoided all of this (and visited our lovely mirror universe!) if stupid Henry hadn't BROKEN THE AUTHOR PEN.

And DID Emma actually tell everyone that Rumple is the Dark One again? Because I don't think he should be okay with her telling everyone (and Belle) that...

Wait, did we ever find out what happened to the Arthurian people? Or do we just... not care...

Hamilton <333

1. I love Hamilton and have since high school. I used to call myself a blue light federalist. (But not in the... traitor sense... In the political holdout sense!)

2. I am deeply in love with Hamilton the musical, and I cannot stop listening or consuming related media. I've also been diving into the amazing historical backgrounds of Hamilton and Laurens.

3. I just watched the PBS special and a youtube community production of In the Heights and I can't get it out of my head either. In the elevator this morning, a random man said to me "We should have won the lottery! I didn't feel like coming to work today." And I was literally singing 96,000 in my head and barely restraining myself from singing it out loud.

4. Lin-Manuel Miranda is a perfect human being.

star warssssssssss

Last weekend I went to a friend's house to watch machete order!

This article convinced me of this order, but I didn't really find that it enhanced VI at all for me. We did make it through II and III though, which is always touch and go, because of the promise of VI. III actually isn't as BAD a film so much as it is depressing. Obi-Wan and Anakin have some good banter, actually. But the endless CGI battles...

Ep II and III would have been a LOT stronger if they used Anakin's mother as his ongoing motivation. You know, his one actual human relationship? They never explained why Qui-Gon or Obi-Wan couldn't buy her at the same time as Anakin or come back for her later with their vast Jedi funds. Or why Anakin himself couldn't come back for his mother in all those years (while he thinks "every day" about Amidala, gag me.) If the Jedi had somehow prevented her from being freed (because of their anti-attachment philosophy or whatever... never mind that close Master/Apprentice relationships are A-OK) that would have been a much more believable motivation for Anakin to resent the Jedi order. Instead of "ohhh our love is so forbidden... also Palpatine really needs me... and we don't need those younglings anyway..."

Why not just turn the younglings (or even other Jedi) to the dark side? Bringing balance to the force makes no sense? But none of SW philosophy makes sense so...

What was clearer with the machete order were the annoying repeats (We must have FOUR DOTS in the opening crawl! HOW many times does a character say "I've got a bad feeling about this..."?) and the inexplicable plot holes. (Why does no one USE THE FORCE to lift people or spaceships, or throw things at their enemies, or short out robot circuits or door circuits? Size makes no difference to the force, remember?)

And then we watched the stupid specialized editions, so terrible Teen Anakin RUINED the end of VI after all our well-earned celebrations.

I did notice that Leia kisses Luke on the mouth TWICE. Pimp Leia! I kind of ship Han/Leia/Luke OT3 now, with Luke and Leia as sister-wives. It's not like they were planned to be related until RotJ anyway. This article points out the valid flaws in RotJ's Vader arc, but I still have a soft spot for the bridge scene with Luke and Leia.

I have been consuming so much SW media! These two Rolling Stone articles are really interesting! (I really love Carrie!) And I assume everyone now knows that Yoda was originally named Buffy. (Lucas is such a disaster. Redlettermedia has it right that he ruins anything he touches. Speaking of, has everyone read about the truly hilarious original synopsis and rough draft? Please direct all credit for SW's success to Marcia!) I also learned that Kenny Baker is 81 freaking years old and is still going to play R2D2. That is hardcore.

I already have tickets to opening weekend! Don't let me down, JJ!

Musical inspiration:

• Fett's Vette
• Star Wars Musical
• Ani: A Parody
• Going Solo

Bonus:

• Honest Trailer
• Deleted scenes IV, V, VI

Time to bring these out again and cry at what could have been:

• What if ep 1 were good?
• What if ep 2 were good?