Paul Gross can kill you with his guitar.
Jul. 11th, 2006 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fenlingsWe were talking about "Voodoo" and "32 Down" in the DS chat, and when I rewatched "Voodoo," I noticed many things I've decided to inflict on share with you all.
PICSPAM Ahem. Visual aids.
Firstly, let's all observe his mouth for a moment.
How is it possible that something so crooked and ridiculous-looking can be so meltingly hot at the same time?
This is a scientific mystery we all should ponder.
::ponders::
::examines more evidence::
And then we come to:
\o_
Hm, what does that mean? Only kinda yay? Guitar+yay?
...Neck porn.
Then there is some pretty wangsting in the window.
And spontaneous orgasms.
I love his decorative sunglasses.
PAUL: Hm this shirt needs something. It's not pretty enough. It doesn't go with me. Necklace? No, too gay. I KNOW. How about *sunglasses*! All the *other* rock stars wear them!
Hee. I love how in the COTW commentary, Paul was like "Even though I'm a ROCK STAR in my rock'n'roll band, my hearing didn't go bad until I became an ACTION HERO. You know, with all the EXPLOSIONS. Which incidentally were really expensive - I know this because (and I don't know if I mentioned this before) I was the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. Yeah. Would you like to see my fart machine?"
And omg how cute was it that both Hugh and Paul on their respective commentaries were saying "Callum and I." It was like Callum was there with themblowing Paul in the soundbooth during all the quiet parts.
But the main thing I noticed was the DECORATIVE THIGH HOLSTER.
Highlighted by the crotch shots.
(Spiral placement. Hee. ::is twelve::)
PAUL: Okay now the shirt is pretty. But the pants are too plain. My thighs need something. Something... Manly. A GUN.
DAVID KEELEY: Uh, Paul? WTF. Why do you have a gun?? Your character is a wussy boy who gets mindwhammied by this witch chick. Not like a *cowboy*. What are you going to shoot, the cat?
PAUL: ::struggles to find artistic justification::
MARTHA: Psst. David. Just go with it. Trust me. ::pets Paul:: Yes, you're very pretty. And ooo gun. So manly.
PAUL: ::preens:: ::tosses head:: ::spreads legs into Rock Star Pose TM::
AAAAAAND.... wait for it....
ROCK STAR BABY!
PAUL: Yes, that's the flash of my hotness spontaneously igniting the camera lens. Band? What band? I AM THE BAND.
Then Paul does this odd *thrusting* thing with his guitar. Perhaps there was someone to his left that he didn't want cluttering up his shot.
PAUL: You better step back. I am Paul Gross. I can kill you with this guitar.
And finally, Paul gets so excited that he bobs his head to the side repeatedly, a la the SNL "What is love?" sketch.
PAUL: OMG VOO-DOO BAY-BEE!
PAUL'S HAIR: ::escapes tyranny of gel:: Freeeedom!!!
In conclusion, I would just like to say that this is all![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
scriggle's fault.
Firstly, let's all observe his mouth for a moment.
How is it possible that something so crooked and ridiculous-looking can be so meltingly hot at the same time?
This is a scientific mystery we all should ponder.
::ponders::
::examines more evidence::
And then we come to:
\o_
Hm, what does that mean? Only kinda yay? Guitar+yay?
...Neck porn.
Then there is some pretty wangsting in the window.
And spontaneous orgasms.
I love his decorative sunglasses.
PAUL: Hm this shirt needs something. It's not pretty enough. It doesn't go with me. Necklace? No, too gay. I KNOW. How about *sunglasses*! All the *other* rock stars wear them!
Hee. I love how in the COTW commentary, Paul was like "Even though I'm a ROCK STAR in my rock'n'roll band, my hearing didn't go bad until I became an ACTION HERO. You know, with all the EXPLOSIONS. Which incidentally were really expensive - I know this because (and I don't know if I mentioned this before) I was the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. Yeah. Would you like to see my fart machine?"
And omg how cute was it that both Hugh and Paul on their respective commentaries were saying "Callum and I." It was like Callum was there with them
But the main thing I noticed was the DECORATIVE THIGH HOLSTER.
Highlighted by the crotch shots.
(Spiral placement. Hee. ::is twelve::)
PAUL: Okay now the shirt is pretty. But the pants are too plain. My thighs need something. Something... Manly. A GUN.
DAVID KEELEY: Uh, Paul? WTF. Why do you have a gun?? Your character is a wussy boy who gets mindwhammied by this witch chick. Not like a *cowboy*. What are you going to shoot, the cat?
PAUL: ::struggles to find artistic justification::
MARTHA: Psst. David. Just go with it. Trust me. ::pets Paul:: Yes, you're very pretty. And ooo gun. So manly.
PAUL: ::preens:: ::tosses head:: ::spreads legs into Rock Star Pose TM::
AAAAAAND.... wait for it....
ROCK STAR BABY!
PAUL: Yes, that's the flash of my hotness spontaneously igniting the camera lens. Band? What band? I AM THE BAND.
Then Paul does this odd *thrusting* thing with his guitar. Perhaps there was someone to his left that he didn't want cluttering up his shot.
PAUL: You better step back. I am Paul Gross. I can kill you with this guitar.
And finally, Paul gets so excited that he bobs his head to the side repeatedly, a la the SNL "What is love?" sketch.
PAUL: OMG VOO-DOO BAY-BEE!
PAUL'S HAIR: ::escapes tyranny of gel:: Freeeedom!!!
In conclusion, I would just like to say that this is all
scriggle's fault.![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-11 04:05 pm (UTC)Paul Gross is even funnier than William Shatner! \o/
And why did I never notice the shoulder holster? o.O It's probably one of those things that can't really be, that make NO sense, and that's why you can't see them.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 08:07 am (UTC)Wow, you're *right*. That's *amazing*.
Yes, the thigh holster and gun is maybe Paul feeling inadequate? Maybe the costume chicks having fun with him? ::struggles to find rational explanation::
No, you're right, it makes no sense. I think Paul must actually have magical realism powers in real life.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-14 05:44 pm (UTC)just about everyone else, just ask himWilliam Shatner.I wish I could bring myself to actually watch these videos. I really think I'd injure my brain if I did.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-15 10:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 06:16 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 06:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 01:38 pm (UTC)But with Paul, strangely it's okay, because even though he's embarrassing himself, he's doing it in a way that we love him for, and he's not feeling embarrassed himself, so. I think you'd be okay watching it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 07:46 pm (UTC)drunkcourageous.(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-11 05:25 pm (UTC)"wangsting"? *dies again*
hoooolster!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 08:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-11 11:39 pm (UTC)Paul thinks he's such a rock star.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-12 08:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 08:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 12:41 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 07:49 am (UTC)I see that dancing like a spaz is one of your happy things. (Mine too!!)
It's nice to see that big stars have the same interests as us lowly mortals, huh.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 04:04 am (UTC)ROTFL!
And "wangsting in the window" is my new favorite phrase. Hee!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 07:51 am (UTC)Band? What band? I AM THE BAND.
::makes #1 signs with both hands and sticks them in the air omg::
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 12:50 pm (UTC)PAUL: You better step back. I am Paul Gross. I can kill you with this guitar.
Hee.This cracked me up. I'm adding this post to my memories. Thank you!
Oh,you are living in Japan? *waves*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-13 01:38 pm (UTC)Oh,you are living in Japan? *waves*
Yes, indeed. ::waves back through heatwave::
Paul Gross
Date: 2006-07-14 12:20 pm (UTC)\o/
Paul Gross is never not funny. And he's a rock star, honest. I can't tell you how many times in the past month I've driven to and from work listening to Paul Gross' CDs. I have a thing about actors who sing (see David Soul for another example). Paul Gross will never be Hugh Dillon, but somehow, I don't think he minds.
Re: Paul Gross
Date: 2006-07-14 03:46 pm (UTC)Hee, yay and Star Trek too!
Yeah, the thing about Paul is that he *sells* whatever he's doing - even though you can see how dorky it is, suddenly in Paul's hands that becomes endearing. MAGIC POWERS.
I'm actually *extremely* curious what Paul thinks about Hugh.
Re: Paul Gross
Date: 2006-07-14 10:15 pm (UTC)::Paul's inner thoughts::
"Hugh Dillon cannot be Paul Gross. I am Paul Gross. Paul Gross is a rock star."
Re: Paul Gross
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(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-03 07:33 am (UTC)TYK for your awesomeness in posting this!
(no subject)
Date: 2013-05-03 10:55 pm (UTC)