Paul Gross can kill you with his guitar.

[fenlings]

We were talking about "Voodoo" and "32 Down" in the DS chat, and when I rewatched "Voodoo," I noticed many things I've decided to inflict on share with you all.

PICSPAM Ahem. Visual aids.

Firstly, let's all observe his mouth for a moment.



How is it possible that something so crooked and ridiculous-looking can be so meltingly hot at the same time?













This is a scientific mystery we all should ponder.

::ponders::

::examines more evidence::















And then we come to:



\o_

Hm, what does that mean? Only kinda yay? Guitar+yay?

...Neck porn.





Then there is some pretty wangsting in the window.











And spontaneous orgasms.



I love his decorative sunglasses.

PAUL: Hm this shirt needs something. It's not pretty enough. It doesn't go with me. Necklace? No, too gay. I KNOW. How about *sunglasses*! All the *other* rock stars wear them!

Hee. I love how in the COTW commentary, Paul was like "Even though I'm a ROCK STAR in my rock'n'roll band, my hearing didn't go bad until I became an ACTION HERO. You know, with all the EXPLOSIONS. Which incidentally were really expensive - I know this because (and I don't know if I mentioned this before) I was the EXECUTIVE PRODUCER. Yeah. Would you like to see my fart machine?"

And omg how cute was it that both Hugh and Paul on their respective commentaries were saying "Callum and I." It was like Callum was there with them blowing Paul in the soundbooth during all the quiet parts.

But the main thing I noticed was the DECORATIVE THIGH HOLSTER.









Highlighted by the crotch shots.







(Spiral placement. Hee. ::is twelve::)

PAUL: Okay now the shirt is pretty. But the pants are too plain. My thighs need something. Something... Manly. A GUN.

DAVID KEELEY: Uh, Paul? WTF. Why do you have a gun?? Your character is a wussy boy who gets mindwhammied by this witch chick. Not like a *cowboy*. What are you going to shoot, the cat?

PAUL: ::struggles to find artistic justification::

MARTHA: Psst. David. Just go with it. Trust me. ::pets Paul:: Yes, you're very pretty. And ooo gun. So manly.

PAUL: ::preens:: ::tosses head:: ::spreads legs into Rock Star Pose TM::

AAAAAAND.... wait for it....

ROCK STAR BABY!



PAUL: Yes, that's the flash of my hotness spontaneously igniting the camera lens. Band? What band? I AM THE BAND.



Then Paul does this odd *thrusting* thing with his guitar. Perhaps there was someone to his left that he didn't want cluttering up his shot.



PAUL: You better step back. I am Paul Gross. I can kill you with this guitar.

And finally, Paul gets so excited that he bobs his head to the side repeatedly, a la the SNL "What is love?" sketch.



PAUL: OMG VOO-DOO BAY-BEE!

PAUL'S HAIR: ::escapes tyranny of gel:: Freeeedom!!!



In conclusion, I would just like to say that this is all scriggle's fault.

Comments

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, Paul Gross is way hotter than just about everyone else, just ask him William Shatner.

I wish I could bring myself to actually watch these videos. I really think I'd injure my brain if I did.

[fenlings]

You'd probably injure yourself *laughing*. Seriously.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I embarrass easily. I mean, really, someone has to be embarrassed, since he obviously is incabable himself. Poor baby.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

Incapable, that is. I can spell, really I can.

[fenlings]

I also have an embarrassment squick. Like sex and violence is okay, but if someone gets embarrassed onscreen I have to hide my face and run away.

But with Paul, strangely it's okay, because even though he's embarrassing himself, he's doing it in a way that we love him for, and he's not feeling embarrassed himself, so. I think you'd be okay watching it.

[primroseburrows.livejournal.com]

I'll think about it. Maybe I'll make the attempt on a day when I'm feeling very drunk courageous.